The strangest thing to me about the situation we’re all in caused by the pandemic is that, besides a few changes, what I do on a day-to-day basis hasn’t really changed. For the most part I stay at home and do my own thing. I only ever left the house to go to school, my job on the weekends or to grab something to eat at the same three fast food places I enjoy. So because of that, being forced to stay home hasn’t affected me much directly. Though the same can’t be said for those who are much more active and out and about than I am. I couldn’t begin to imagine how the majority of the population is feeling right now. I wonder if there are others out there who have a similar mindset that I do. Things could be a whole lot worse for me and I’m thankful that my family and I are managing all right during these harsh times.
One thing that has gotten to me, however, is lack of motivation to do much of anything besides laying in bed all day. It’s because I have more time to myself that I’ve ironically felt more stressed lately. Some days I lack motivation to get up and do anything, including my own hobbies I spend my free time doing. Constant headaches and trouble getting proper sleep has also led to me feeling tired during the day, which leads to me not wanting to do much. And when I’m not doing much, I get upset at myself for not being more productive. And when I try to be productive, I use being tired as an excuse and it turns into a ‘I’ll do it later.’ It has turned into a cycle of stressing myself out over little things I could be doing better and pressuring myself into thinking I have to be doing something productive every minute of every day.
But then I realized that putting pressure on myself is just making the situation much worse than it actually is. I realized that it’s okay to just relax and take breaks when I need to. It’s okay to enjoy myself to get my mind off of the tough times we’re all dealing with. It’s okay to not be perfect as long as I do my best to be the best me I can be. As an artist, it can be hard to get motivation to draw and even harder get the drive to do work. But it’s even harder for me to relax and to remember that everything will be alright as long as I try. I encourage everyone to try to make it through this as best they can and to know that it’s okay to struggle to feel motivated at times. I know that we’re all different and that my experience is likely way different to how a lot of others are feeling. But I believe we can all make it through this, and I will personally keep trying because that’s all I can do.